Why We Keep Making Choices That Hurt Us
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Ever wonder why we keep making the same choices that hurt us, even when we know better? It’s not just about willpower—it’s about something much deeper. Let’s take a closer look at the hidden forces behind our habits and how we can start breaking free from them.
There’s no shortage of advice on avoiding foods with high added sugars or the risks they bring. But let’s look deeper—what keeps those Type 2 Diabetes patients discussing in Facebook groups which high-glycemic food would be less harmful for them, even knowing it could severely impact their disease.
At its core, this isn’t just a case of “poor self-control.” It’s what I’ll call a Suicidal Mental Program (SMP). Now, this isn’t a clinical term, so let’s explore it philosophically. The SMP is what drives us to keep making choices we know harm us. It’s that small voice saying, “Just one candy won’t hurt,” or “Many people live long, healthy lives with a cigarette in one hand and drink in another.” These rationalizations work against us, quietly leading us down a path of self-sabotage.
But what fuels the SMP? Behind it, I believe, lies the Desire to Escape Reality (DER). The DER isn’t just about avoiding pain—it’s about not wanting to face difficult emotions, uncomfortable thoughts, or life’s challenging moments.
To put it simply, our brains are wired to repeat actions that bring immediate pleasure or relief, thanks to dopamine and other feel-good chemicals. This wiring is essential for survival but can misfire when we use it to avoid discomfort. When temporary comforts like sugary snacks, alcohol, or even binge-watching TV become our coping mechanisms, we end up dependent on these “fixes” rather than addressing the root of our pain.
So, what’s the solution? It begins with radical honesty—being real about our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. By honestly acknowledging where we’re at, we can start to shift our habits and make healthier choices. Recognizing what we’re trying to avoid can lead us to healthier ways to cope, breaking the cycle of self-destructive choices.
What’s 1️⃣ habit 🫵 you’ve struggled to break, even though you know it’s not serving you?